The Myth of Balance: Family, Career & Self Without Burnout

Published on March 30, 2025

by Kate Holmes

“Balance” sounds peaceful—but for many women, it feels like a setup. Like you’re expected to pour into everyone and everything, while still holding it all together with a smile.

Smart women are done with the pressure to ‘do it all perfectly.’ This isn’t about balance—it’s about rhythm, intention, and knowing what matters most right now. Here’s how to reframe the myth and reclaim your energy.

Step 1: Accept That Balance Isn’t Static

There’s no perfect pie chart. Some days your career needs more. Other days, your kids or your body do. That’s not failure—it’s flow.

Ways to embrace shifting rhythms:

Think in seasons—not days—for priorities
Ask weekly: what needs more of me right now?
Let go of guilt when the scale tips temporarily
Adjust your standards when your bandwidth changes

Step 2: Define What ‘Having It All’ Means to You

“All” doesn’t have to mean everything. What if it meant just the right things? The ones that fuel, not deplete, you?

Clarity questions for your personal ‘all’:

What roles bring me energy—not just obligation?
What makes me feel proud and grounded at the same time?
What can I release that no longer serves my season?
What does enough look like in this chapter?

Step 3: Build Micro-Rituals That Anchor You

You don’t need an hour for self-care. You need five minutes of full presence. Create rituals that center you within chaos.

Grounding rituals to try daily or weekly:

3-minute check-in with your own needs (not just others’)
Solo coffee before the house wakes up
Evening stretch, walk, or journal before bed
A weekly pause to reflect on what’s working

Step 4: Ask for Support Without Guilt

Delegating isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. Burnout often comes from doing it all without letting anyone help.

Smart support strategies:

Outsource where possible—even small tasks matter
Use shared calendars or tools with your partner or team
Be specific in asking for help—not vague
Let go of the idea that help means you’re failing

Step 5: Make Space for the You Outside the Roles

You’re not just a parent, partner, or professional. You’re also a person—with passions, dreams, and quiet needs.

Ways to reconnect with the self beyond roles:

Schedule solo time like a meeting—it counts
Revisit hobbies or interests just for joy
Invest in growth that’s not tied to work or caregiving
Let yourself be complex, creative, and enough

Why This Matters

Trying to balance everything equally can leave you feeling like you’re failing at all of it. Real fulfillment comes from aligning with what matters most now—not forever, just now.

When you drop the myth of balance, you gain permission to breathe, recalibrate, and choose again.

Try This Instead

If you’re stuck in the ‘balance everything’ loop, try these mindset shifts:

Swap ‘I have to do it all’ → ‘I get to choose what matters now’
Swap multitasking → meaningful sequencing
Swap constant sacrifice → sustainable tradeoffs
Swap performance → presence
Swap pleasing everyone → respecting your own capacity

Takeaway

Balance isn’t a destination—it’s a dance. You get to shift, stumble, and start over without shame. The goal isn’t to be everything to everyone. It’s to stay connected to yourself while you navigate all you hold.